Understanding a person is a good quality of perception. Many factors influence this quality, one of the important factors is the quality of listening. So, in this section we will discuss how to understand people or how to read others. People who are good at understanding others are usually good listeners. How to become good listener is one important question. Listening skills can be built with the following practices:
- Practice listening well in every conversation.
- Pay attention to what the other person is saying.
- Train ourselves to think of listening as more important than talking.
The ability to read others will greatly affect how we deal with them. When we understand how another person is feeling about a situation, we can communicate with that person in suitable manner. Our message and communication style will also change according to that situation. However, this is not the scenario always. Here are some tips for reading or understanding others:
Create a baseline- Creating a mental baseline of others normal behavior will help us to understand the person talking to us. People have different habit and patterns of behavior. For example, they might clear their throat, look at the floor while talking, cross their arms, scratch their head, stroke their neck, look sideways, show displeasure, or shake their feet frequently. Initially, we may not even notice when others do these things. People display these behaviors for different reasons. We can simply ignore these behaviors of the person and concentrate on the matter he/she is trying to communicate.
Notice the deviations- Pay attention to irregularity between the baseline we have created and the person's words and gestures. We may have noticed that a supplier of ours has the habit of clearing his throat repeatedly when nervous. It is always better not to ask so many questions that make him more confuse and nervous. In such situation talk to him normally that make him comfortable.
Identify the strong voice- Confident people have strong voice. The most powerful person is not always the one sitting at the head of the table. The most confident person is very likely to be the most powerful one. He/she can have a good posture, strong voice, and a big smile. It is always better to identify the strong voice from a group of people and listen carefully that make us understand the person better.
Identify action words- Words represent thoughts, so identify the words that have some versatile meaning. Action words offer insights into the way a person thinks. Sometimes the person in front of us do not speak the whole thing he/she wants to say. In such situation we need to concentrate on his/her action words, find out the meaning of such words and act accordingly.
Look for personality clues- Each of us have a unique personality, but there are basic clarifications that can help us relate to another person so we can read him or her accurately.
Putting it all together
This is true that, it takes time to learn how to read people accurately. Though theoretically some rules or clues are always there to follow to understand people, however it is also true that there are exceptions to every rule. But keeping these principles in mind as we build our powers of observation will greatly enhance our ability to read others, understand their thinking and communicate effectively.